B l u e D r a g o n f l y :
eating disorders are not diets
[To Those Looking To Learn]
I don't mean to be rude, but please leave. This website cannot teach you to be anorexic - I'm sorry, it is something you just have to be born with. You might be able to skip a few meals, you might be able to lay off the sweets for a day or two, and you might workout for a week, but you will eventually lose interest and go about your life as normal.
Please believe me. You don't want this. No one wants this. BlueDragonfly exists to help people with this disorder recover some part of their former selves - yes, we want to be like you. Desperately. You may think your desire for thinness is all-encompassing right now, that you want nothing more than to be light and free, beautiful and graceful, but I swear to you, what you feel is nothing in the shadow of our needs - our compulsions. This illness is a monster. She hates you, and the only way to survive her onslaught is to hate her back. The problem is that she is you and you are her, and you can't hate her without hating yourself. Do you want that? Or do you already hate yourself? It can get worse, I assure you. I know I can't hope to sway every wannarexic who comes my way, but I refuse to quit trying, and therefore, before you enter this site, please take a moment to ask yourself a few questions:
Do you want to start everyday with the disappointment of being too fat? Do you want to cry everyday, because you havent lost enough? Do you want to cough up blood, stare at it, and keep gagging yourself? Do you want to sit on the bathroom floor sobbing because you know you didn't get everything up? Do you want to take comfort in the taste of stomach bile? Do you want to lose your teeth? Do you want to reach the point where you know that you're killing yourself, and you just don't care anymore? Do you want to ceaselessly hate yourself? Do you want your mind to strangle you? Do you want to hand over your life and your dreams to some blank, bitter, sneering fleck of a goddess? Do you want your control to control you? Do you want to waste your best years? Do you want months of your life to disappear into oblivious blurs of goal weights and exercise? Do you want everything that you've ever cared for to disappear? Do you want to die? If you do not have an eating disorder, you have no business here. Please reconsider.
[Yes, you will always be too fat.]
[No, you will never lose enough.]
[Every little bit counts.]
[You will always feel it festering in your stomach.]
[You will eventually.]
[There's nothing wrong with dentures at thirty.]
[It comes sooner than you'd think.]
[You'll pity your friends for having to be near you.]
[You'll be powerless to stop it.]
[She doesn't really love you.]
[It will.]
[They may be your last.]
[You'll remember nothing else.]
[Kiss it goodbye.]
[And be happy about it?]